She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize