but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
