he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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