Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
A+ Viking dick
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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