You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
