Your face is a jimmy john
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
