Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
