Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
