she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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