is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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