Can Purell be used as lube?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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