I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
