I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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