Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
