I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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