I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
