somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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