glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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