Your face is a jimmy john
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize