every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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