Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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