I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
