Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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