I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
