would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
