You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
