so explain again why im purple
no
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
