he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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