i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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