dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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