sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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