i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
