The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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