is your mom at the bar?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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