Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
