just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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