I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
