The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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