Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
