i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
