When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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