I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just had sex on a roof
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
