what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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