he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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