you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
