what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
