im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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