what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
