You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
