dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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