Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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