She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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