Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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