we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he fucked my hip out of place.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
