i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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