I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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