why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize