I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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