we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
