I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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